i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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