if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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