Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
