I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
