i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
