I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
