How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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