If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My balls are so social today.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
