well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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