I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
