Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
