I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
