You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
