he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
