if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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