He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
