'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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