I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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