I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
