someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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