it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
