I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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