So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
