I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Blood and glitter go together right?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
