Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
