I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Randomize
