I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
