sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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