You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
