she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
