would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Are we still banned from the library?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
