we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
