belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
