Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
