I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
