if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
