I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
