i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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