Me too!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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