I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
