He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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