He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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