I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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