It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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