took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm too high and old for this...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
