I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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