Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
