Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
