omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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