in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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