I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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