I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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